Acquaintance, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

Ambrose Bierce #Authors

Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Ambrose Bierce #Authors

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Ambrose Bierce #Authors

Brain an apparatus with which we think we think.

Ambrose Bierce #Authors

Calamities are of two kinds misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

Ambrose Bierce #Authors

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum

Ambrose Bierce #Authors

Faith Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Ambrose Bierce #Authors

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Ambrose Bierce #Authors

Marriage: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

Ambrose Bierce #Authors

Painting The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.

Ambrose Bierce #Authors

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