"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

Woody Allen

"I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!"

Woody Allen

"I tended to place my wife under a pedestal."

Woody Allen

"I think being funny is not anyone's first choice."

Woody Allen

"I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia."

Woody Allen

"I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'"

Woody Allen

"I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox."

Woody Allen

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead."

Woody Allen

"I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse."

Woody Allen

"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."

Woody Allen

captcha