Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please

Mark Twain #Authors #Wisdom

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board

Mark Twain #Authors #Wisdom

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

Mark Twain #Authors #Wisdom

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Mark Twain #Authors #Wisdom

How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Mark Twain #Authors #Wisdom

If a person offend you and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures. Simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick.

Mark Twain #Authors #Wisdom

"Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

Mark Twain #Authors #Wisdom

"One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Mark Twain #Authors #Wisdom

"When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

Mark Twain #Authors #Wisdom

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

Mark Twain #Authors #Wisdom

captcha