"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."

Woody Allen

"Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there."

Woody Allen

"He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian."

Woody Allen

"His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy."

Woody Allen

"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

Woody Allen

"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."

Woody Allen

"I am two with nature."

Woody Allen

"I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government."

Woody Allen

"I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear."

Woody Allen

"I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her."

Woody Allen

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